FP's ads finally learn what interests me! These look glorious...

"Jim Spanfeller" (awesomeaustinv) 06/12/2020 at 23:55 • Filed to: suck it amphicar

4

24

After years of being pestered with ads for hot Russian brides and whatnot, an FP ad finally shows me something interesting. It’s one part atv and one part B.O.A.T. (Buoyancy -Operated Aquatic Transport), which is a type of vehicle that floats in water. Nifty! What’s especially neat about it is that those wheels can fold up like landing gear so they don’t mess with the shape of the B.O.A.T. too much.

I think those folding wheels give it a bit of character. They allow it to pose a bit...

Although in this picture, it kinda just looks like the B.O.A.T. is peeing while staring longingly at another B.O.A.T. in the distance...

They come in a few different sizes and styles, with this one being the party B.O.A.T. of the bunch:

W eight and power vary quite a bit across the range. The smallest one weighs under 3,ooo lbs and has 150-200 hp, whereas that big one weighs a little over 6,000 lbs and has 350-600 hp. But only in the water. On land, you’re looking at a top speed of a blistering 5 mph. I think the wheels are mostly just for getting the thing in and out of the water and back into the beach house that the company’s website assumes you have.

And- Hold on, IS THAT AN AMPHIBIOUS VEHICLE WITH A ROOF-MOUNTED TENT AND A BIKE RACK!?

Wow. So... I guess if you’ve always wanted to go overlanding or mountain biking on an island in the middle of a lake, here’s the vehicle for you.

That sounds like a perfect date for me and my hot Russian bride.

The company that makes these, by the way, is Ocean Craft Marine. You can find their website here:

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > Jim Spanfeller 06/13/2020 at 00:04

3

I don’t think those are very capable beyond getting up onto land. I have been interested in amphibious vehicles for a long time, well I was a Marine so that’s our bag baby. I would say the Gibbs Humdinga is as good as it gets but pretty expensive, you can’t put bigger tires on them either since they have to fold up. I want a surplus Navy Larc 5. 

Jim Spanfeller > 415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) 06/13/2020 at 00:06

1

But does the Humdinga have a bike rack and a roof-mounted tent?

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > Jim Spanfeller 06/13/2020 at 00:12

4

It’s capable of putting whatever you want on it, and that’s the small one.

Jim Spanfeller > 415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) 06/13/2020 at 00:17

1

Camper top? Rocket launcher? Hot air baloon? I’m getting carried away...

But you’re right, the Humdinga looks like a much more usable vehicle. These atv boat things I think are mostly just for making entry and exit from the water easier and traveling short distances to where the boat will be stored, though I do think camping on an island would work with one. 

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > Jim Spanfeller 06/13/2020 at 00:26

2

I have seen guns mounted on them, it has a big flat area like a Larc 5 so as long as you don’t put too much weight too high you could mount whatever you want. They have a quad cab looking version. Gibbs has come a long way in the last few years, they have an amphibious quad bike too. They seem to have expanded to fit military, police and search and rescue etc.. 

Jim Spanfeller > 415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) 06/13/2020 at 00:30

0

Just one more question... Why in the heck did they name it the “Humdinga”? Was it named by a boomer? I like the vehicle itself, but the name is just bad.

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > Jim Spanfeller 06/13/2020 at 00:33

1

Yeah actually, the owner Mr. Gibbs looks like he is a boomer. 

SmugAardvark > Jim Spanfeller 06/13/2020 at 03:13

1

Speaking of FP ads, WTF?

The new management has gotten them placed everywhere, they are horribly irrelevant to my interests, questionably safe for work, and they bypass AdBlock Plus. Add that to huge increase in questionable (okay, bad) writing across huge swaths of the whole main Kinja platform of sites, and I’m starting to feel like Oppo is almost the only reason I visit this corner of the internet now.

Jalopnik is still one of the better ones without a doubt, but even they seem to have dipped in quality over the last 6-12 months. It sucks, honestly. It feels almost like it is being intentionally run into the ground.

Jim Spanfeller > SmugAardvark 06/13/2020 at 03:34

1

I discovered Jalopnik long before Oppo, and I arrived arguably after the golden age of Jalopnik. But I still felt like there were a lot of great articles, great writers, and a fantastic community in the comments where I loved to participate in the discussions. Then school computers happened and Jalopnik was banned, so I visited it less, but it led me to discovering Oppo, which thankfully was not banned. When school finally got out and I could go on Jalopnik again, I was shocked at how far downhill it had gone. There are maybe two good writers left and, what, three mediocre ones? The quality of writing has gone down and the number of garbage takes increased, and the community that used to thrive in the comments is dying, with what little is left of it devolving into chaos. Torch and Tracy are the only things keeping me coming back, though I don’t really care to comment anymore. It’s a little heartbreaking seeing what it’s become. But at least Oppo is still good. Vastly superior to  Jalopnik, in fact. RIP Jalopnik, long live Oppo!

barnie > Jim Spanfeller 06/13/2020 at 03:40

1

And I get Hershey bar ads.  Don’t even like their stuff. Well, except that time last xmas when Doc gave me a big Special bar, in the rain and cold and lashing waves . That was a life saver. Hrumph.

SmugAardvark > Jim Spanfeller 06/13/2020 at 03:45

1

Oppo is still great. But I feel that is because it is community run. We get out of it what we put into it, and we have a lot of people putting a lot of great content out there for all of us to read.

I hate to say it, but even Torchinsky grates my nerves these days. Articles telling us how cool he is because he was on Chinese social media sites sort of reads more like self-fellation and less like the humble but hilarious person he always seemed to be.

Noodles > Jim Spanfeller 06/13/2020 at 08:09

3

Cool, but I’d rather have an Iguana

Treads seem like they would work better.

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > Jim Spanfeller 06/13/2020 at 08:38

0

The Ocean Craft is very territorial, and often will mark “its territory” with urine and bilge water.

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > 415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) 06/13/2020 at 08:39

0

Are those ski goggles?  So it must convert into a Sno Cat?

jeepoftheseus > Jim Spanfeller 06/13/2020 at 10:28

3

I used to work on an island that had the highest net worth in the state. Someone had something very similar to this, the wheel placement was slightly different but still the same concept. The island had a tiny downtown area with a number of restaurants and bars and that thing would be parallel parked like it was no big deal. I always thought that was hilarious. Here we have the local tavern with a transformer boat parked out front and no one bats an eye.

WasGTIthenGTOthenNOVAnowbacktoGTI > SmugAardvark 06/13/2020 at 10:29

2

If you go in and manually add them in ABP, they remember them the next time you go to the site. You end up with weird blank spaces everywhere on the article, but it’s better than ads.

I just went to the FP and clicked on the first article. Guess how many ads got blocked....... Fucking 51 LOL! Th at’s insane.

Jim Spanfeller > Noodles 06/13/2020 at 12:40

2

Cool, but I’d rather have an iguana.

Jim Spanfeller > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish 06/13/2020 at 12:43

0

He looks like he certainly does not want that other boat on his territory... He’s staring  it down. Boats are intense.

Jim Spanfeller > jeepoftheseus 06/13/2020 at 12:44

0

Lol!

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > Noodles 06/13/2020 at 13:45

2

Slow as hell, the Gibbs is very capable on land and goes just as fast as a normal boat in the water. 

SmugAardvark > WasGTIthenGTOthenNOVAnowbacktoGTI 06/13/2020 at 18:10

0

Fantastic, thank you so much!!

Stef Schrader > Noodles 06/18/2020 at 02:54

1

OOOOOOH IT’S LIKE A TANK BOAT

Stef Schrader > 415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) 06/18/2020 at 02:56

0

Oh, I like this. 

Stef Schrader > Jim Spanfeller 06/18/2020 at 02:56

1

IDK, but my brain IMMEDIATELY went to “that’s definitely a euphemism for penis,” so good job, naming person!